From the Archives at Homeschoolblogger.com at Chronicles of a Family at Home - Aug. 28, 2007: The perfect private school

I have decided that society's resistance to homeschooling is all due to poor marketing.  I'm changing my personal marketing strategy.  From now on, when people ask me what school my kids go to, I'm going to say:  "I found the perfect private school!" They'll say:  "Oh?"  And I'll say "Oh yes!  We feel so fortunate to have found it.  This private school offers a low student-teacher ratio -- 3 students to 1 teacher!  Can you believe that?"  They will look shocked and say "NO!"  I'll say "Oh yes, just a 3 to 1 ratio and get this:  It is TOTALLY affordable!"  "No way!" "Oh, yes!  I spend well under $1,000 for all 3 kids in all 9 months of the school year.  And believe it or not, the curriculum is customized to the needs of each individual child!" "Surely not!" "Yes, and it gets better!  They have a meal plan that is included in the price -- plus, they serve only healthy food and no uniforms are required, so you don't have to deal with that extra worry or cost." "Is it a Christian school?" my friend will ask.  "Oh, yes.  And the classrooms are multi-aged for positive peer opportunities.  The older kids have the chance to mentor the younger to maximize their leadership skills and the younger get to learn proper behavior and skills from the older kids.  They get exposed to higher level curriculum at an earlier age that way, you know." "Wow, that sounds great.  But don't you hate getting them up and driving them to school instead of just putting them on the bus?"  "No, that's the best part -- it is really close to home."

From the Archives at Homeschoolblogger.com at Chronicles of a Family at Home - May. 21, 2008: Poof!

I have really done a disappearing act from my blog lately.  I've been caught up in my latest weight loss enterprise and just didn't have any spare brain cells left to write with.  All day today I've had the hymn "Resting in the Arms of Jesus" running through my head.  Well, maybe not all day; just since the cat bit my baby viciously on the cheek (there's probably not a non-vicious way to bite someone).  This inspired the murderous thoughts that eventually led to my mental choice of hymns.  I've owned and hated this cat for four years.  It was abandoned at a rental house next door to us at our previous domicile and we quickly learned why.  But we felt sorry for her, so rather than abandon her a second time, we brought her with us to the house on the hill.  And we've lived to regret it.  While her name is Honey, it really should have been Lucifer, if you know want I mean.  Sure, she's all friendly when you come up on the porch, but if you make one wrong move, or stop petting her when she really wants you to continue, she'll bite.  At one time or another, she's bitten all of us.  We warn all our guests, but all are still shocked when she bites their little Johnny or Jane.   And now she's gone too far.  My neighbor the vet says we need to keep her another 10 days to make sure she doesn't keel over from some dread disease that could impact baby.  But that cat has all her shots, so I'm not worried about her health.  But how does one do the right thing with a pet (execute it summarily at dawn, in this case) without traumatizing your children?  My husband thinks we should try the direct approach and explain that she's simply not pet material for anyone and really, there's not another job available for cats.   His point being to convince them that sending her on to the next of her 9 lives is the right thing to do.  I, on the other hand, am still really, really mad at my mother for putting the family dog down when I was 10, so I think that's a terrible idea.  I'm thinking of calling in a hit man who'll just arrange for a sudden, unexplained disappearance.  And the kids can just believe she's found a better porch to cover with hair, or a warmer hearth, or maybe even some people that like her.  But I'll know she's "Resting in the Arms of Jesus."  Or in her case, maybe she'll be off in the other direction...  You can see that it might be in my children's best interest not to know exactly how mean I can be when it comes to that monstrous cat.  When you and your spouse have had to make these tough decisions about pets, how did you talk about it to your kids?  Or did you?  HELP!

From the Archives at Homeschoolblogger.com at Chronicles of a Family at Home - Jan. 31, 2008: Latest mystery: Fluoride (part 1)

I love a good mystery.  Especially ones with signs of conspiracies and cover-ups and government complicity.  Probably a symptom of WAAAY too much Robert Ludlum and Tom Clancy reading, back when I used to have free, uninterrupted time. My latest case as an amateur sleuth began with a decree to add fluoride to the public water supply from our local mayor, a former lawyer and political party leader.  I thought these strange credentials in making healthcare decisions for the community, and since I strenuously believe that nothing he does is motivated by anything good, it bore looking into. The two week odyssey of research took me from the 1930s through the present, to Sarnia, Ontario, and other disparate places like Hooper Bay, Alaska; Bauxite, Arkansas; and the Aluminum Company of America. Not to mention from science to junk science and on through the politics of expediency.  First of all, let me just say that, like with the terms "homeschooler" and "alien," I am aware that there is an immediate and visceral reaction to the term "opponent of fluoride."  You know instantly that all homeschoolers are dressed in jumpers, are ultra-conservative Christians, and have a dozen children.  You immediately know that all "resident aliens" are actually illegal aliens.  And you equally assume all opponents of fluoride are either quacks or kooks.  (Or maybe you don't have the same visceral reaction because those of you reading this are also homeschoolers?)  But as a friend of mine said to me last week:  "Just because they are kooks doesn't mean they are wrong."  Reminded me of that old chestnut, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean someone isn't out to get you." Either way, a fresh look at the evidence on safety and efficacy of fluoride may reveal to you the uneasy truth that while there may be evidence of its effectiveness in reducing dental caries, and while it is frequently repeated that it is economical, you may actually come up dry on hard evidence that it is safe.  I aspire to demonstrate this using facts not garnered from "kooks," but from the Belly of the Beast itself. Look for Part 2, coming soon to this blog, near you.

From the Archives at Homeschoolblogger.com at Chronicles of a Family at Home - Dec. 13, 2007: Manna

Posted in nebulous rants

"Exo 16:14 And when the dew that lay was gone up, behold, upon the face of the wilderness there lay a small round thing,as small as the hoar frost on the ground." I have now idenitified the substance that was biblical manna:  Decaf, non-fat, sugar-free, caramel latte from the Starbucks' Drive-thru window.  Just picture it.  On the Sabbath, you just walk outside and there it is; hot, steamy, environmentally friendly paper cups ("small round thing") with a safety sleeve complete with cheerful logo and full of creamy, sinless java that would melt your heart and make you praise the Lord for taking you out of Egypt!  And if you insist that "bread" or "wafers" were involved, too, I can accept that:  ever had a cinnamon chip scone? Ah.  Yet another mystery of history solved.